Ranma 1/2: the musical
by Hiro Hibiki
Summary: Ryouga learns a new technique, but there are some conciquences. not an original story line, but this is written with a broadway-musical-type song and dance in every chapter. couples:R/A Ry/Uk M/S
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer- I don't own Ranma ½ or any of the characters therein and I also don't own any songs that are inserted into this text. Please note that during the musical sections that the lyrics are in _italics_ and the action is in (parenthesis). Also note that all characters automatically have perfect singing voices and are always accompanied by the music that goes with each song (unless otherwise noted). I will have a song sequence in each chapter, so each chapter will probably be very different lengths, hopefully this won't confuse people.  
  
  
See a large scale shot of the entire city of Nermia, zoom in slowly, and eventually come and stop at the opening gate and the   
Tendo household. Ranma opens the gates and begins to sing.  
  
(Seize the Day, from the musical "The Newsies.")  
  
Ranma:  
_Open the gates and seize the day  
Don't be afraid and don't delay  
_(Ranma starts his daily walk to school on the fence)  
_Nothing can break us  
No one can make us  
Give our rights away  
Arise and seize the day   
_(Look at Akane as she points to her watch, and breaks into a run when the music picks up)  
  
Ranma:  
(Runs by Dr. Tofu's clinic and he waves)  
_Now is the time to seize the day  
_In background:  
_Now is the time to seize the day  
_  
Ranma:  
(Runs by Ukyo's restaurant and she waves)  
_Send out the call and join the fray   
_In background  
_Send out the call and join the fray   
_  
Ranma:  
(Ranma and Akane run up to and stop in front of the big group of boys led by Kuno)  
_Wrongs will be righted  
If we're united   
Let us seize the day   
_  
Ranma:  
_Friends of the friend will seize the day  
_Kuno:  
_Friends of the friend will seize the day  
_  
Ranma:  
_Raise up the torch and light the way  
_Kuno (while raising his bokken):  
_Raise up the torch and light the way  
_  
Kuno and his group:  
_Proud and defiant  
We'll slay the giant  
Let us seize the day   
_  
(Ukyou, Nabiki and a bunch of school girls as they stand next to Akane):  
_Neighbor to neighbor  
_(Soun and Genma who stand next to Ranma):  
_Father to son  
_All in the "good guys group":  
_One for all and all for one   
_  
(Ryouga who is running through the woods ignoring the trees):  
_Open the gates and seize the day  
_In background:  
_Open the gates and seize the day  
_  
Ryouga:  
_Don't be afraid and don't delay  
_In background:  
_Don't be afraid and don't delay  
_  
Ryouga:  
_Nothing can break us  
No one can make us  
Give our rights away   
_  
Ryouga:  
_Neighbor to neighbor  
Father to son  
One for all and all for one  
_(Ryouga exits the woods and comes to rest on a hill above Furinkan high school just in time to see everyone leap into their fight)  
  
Ryouga looked on as the school and the resident martial artists enjoyed a relaxing free for all. Unfortunately Ryouga wasn't the patient type and didn't feel like waiting for them to finish to get his message across.  
"RANMA SAOTOME!!"  
The entire schoolyard stopped just as the school bell rang. Every one, leaves the school yard. Only Ranma, Akane, Ukyou and Kuno were left standing there. Ryouga leapt down to join them.  
  
"Ranma I demand you fight me, NOW!"  
  
"Ryouga you can't be serious, you've been gone for months, I've got school, and…"  
  
"Vile Knave," Kuno interrupted "You dare interfere in the glorious battle of Tatiwaki Kuno? If you wish to fight me you must wait until I dispose of this evil enslaver of women."  
  
Ryouga walked up to Kuno and grabbed his shirt, "Shut up Kuno." Then Ryouga flung him into the school. "Well that ought to shut him up for a while," quipped Ukyo.  
  
Ryouga then turned to Ranma, "Ranma I've trained and endured a worse hell than you've sent me to a thousand times before, now I tell you. I HAVE to fight you."  
  
"Yeah… I guess so, just let me talk to the girls." Ryouga scowled and folded his arms, Ryouga turns away and lets Ranma talk to Ukyou and Akane "This is weird."  
  
"What's wrong Ran-chan? Just go beat up the jackass."  
  
Akane scowled at Ukyou. She looked at Ranma "Now Ranma, don't be too rough, Ryouga looks like he's in bad shape"  
  
"I'm more worried about myself Akane, Ryouga has been in constant training as usual and has probably learned new techniques, while I've just been doing my routine for months. And not just that," Ranma leans closer "I can't sense him"  
  
"What do mean you can't sense him?" Akane asked, "He's not fighting so you shouldn't be able to."  
  
"No," Ranma snapped "I can sense way better than you, and he should be giving off an aura considering how angry and frustrated he obviously is."  
  
"Oh Ran-chan just go beat him up"  
  
Ranma lets out a heavy sigh, "Yeah I guess, I'll go to the Cat Café afterwards I'll see you guys later," Ranma and Ryouga left and went to the regular fighting lot.  
  
  
Ranma and Ryouga stood across from each other, Ranma was doing some warm-up stretches, and Ryouga stood there with his arms folded and eyes closed.  
"So, P-chan, done some new training over the last 8 months?"  
Ryouga just nodded.  
Learned some new techniques?"  
Another nod.  
"Okay then, are you ready to fight?"  
Ranma took a defensive stance and Ryouga opened his eyes and charged at Ranma.  
They exchanged a few punches and kicks. Most of them were blocked or dodged, Ranma finally managed to get a solid hit on Ryouga's chest. It bounced off.  
  
"So Pig boy still the same monster you were before eh, but you still haven't showed me anything new."   
  
Ryouga did a few back flips backwards and created some distance between them. "Okay Ranma you want my new techniques," Ryouga closed his eyes and pointed his hands toward Ranma.  
Ranma looked at him curiously "This is just the Shi…" Ryouga's eyes shot open and he screamed. The Ranma's world went black.  
  
Ok short I know, but I warned you, and I don't want to hear any Flames about the length. Any other Flames/comments/criticisms/song suggestions /ANYTHING! Would be appreciated. I NEED the help with this fic. Next chapter, what kind of hellish training has Ryouga gone through, and what does the group think about his easy victory over Ranma.


	2. Ryouga's training

Disclaimer- I don't own Ranma ½ or any of the characters therein and I also don't own any songs that are inserted into this text. Please note that during the musical sections that the lyrics are in _italics_ and the action is in (parenthesis). Also note that all characters automatically have perfect singing voices and are always accompanied by the music that goes with each song (unless otherwise noted). I will have a song sequence in each chapter, so each chapter will probably be very different lengths, hopefully this won't confuse people.  
  
  
Ryouga was walking through the restaurant district of Nermia; at least he hoped it was. There were defiantly eating places, he could tell by the roasting of… bleh … pork. "I don't think I'll ever be able to eat that again"  
  
"Come now Ryouga, I'm sure with the right spices I could make any pig product taste heavenly, even to you." Ryouga stopped and looked down. He saw a wrinkly old troll. Just kidding, it was Cologne sitting on her cane in front of the Cat Café, as usual.  
  
"Hello old woman. I was hoping I'd run into you soon"  
  
"I guess it has something to do with my son-in-law unconscious over your shoulder." She said and pointed and the unconscious form of the pigtailed martial artist.  
  
Ryouga nodded, "Yeah, he wanted to be taken here after the fight. I guess I should feel lucky I actually made it." Ryouga scratched the back of his head and laughed nervously.  
  
"Well come on, I suspect everyone will want to know how you defeated Ranma this time."  
  
Ryouga walked into the Café, took a seat at a booth, and deposited Ranma in a chair.   
  
"Would you like something to eat before we talk?"  
  
"Three large ramen please," Ryouga nearly begged. While Cologne went back to get the ramen, Shampoo came out from the kitchen.  
  
"Aiya, Arian! What you doing here." Shampoo said in her broken Japanese while glomping onto Ranma "You come see Shampoo, yes?"  
  
"…" Ranma just sat there, eye's swirled in the typical unconscious fashion.   
  
"AIYA! ARIAN DEAD!"  
  
Mousse jumped out of the back room at the news of hearing his rival for Shampoo's heart was dead, "Yes, now with Ranma out of the way… SHAMPOO IS MINE!" Mousse lunged at Ryouga who he thought was his beloved Shampoo, and embraced him in a bone-crunching embrace.  
  
Ryouga grabbed Mousse's shirt and threw him into a wall, "Who are you calling Shampoo!?"  
  
Mousses feel on the floor, got up and lowered his glasses. He saw Shampoo on the floor bawling her eyes out, he went to comfort, and impress his beloved. Ryouga stopped looking at the two hopeless in love amazons and paid attention to the kitchen door again. After a few seconds, Cologne came out with Ryouga's ramen. Ryouga literally drooled when he saw her with the three steaming bowls.  
  
Many things have been determined in Nermia because of the local martial artists. One of those is that the average time to eat an average bowl of ramen is 5.3 second's; Ryouga put all those records to shame. Exactly one second after the bowls had been set down all three large ramen been downed and eaten.  
  
"Mighty hungry boy, eh boy?"  
  
"Yes, thank you. May I have six more bowls please?"  
  
"Sure, son" Cologne walked over to Mousse who at this point was trying to hug Shampoo but was holding him at arms length. Cologne bopped him on the head "Duck boy! Go get Ryouga six more Ramen," she gave him the bowls. Mousse stalked off, muttering about a withered old monkey. "So boy, down to business. What did you learn to defeat son-in-law so easy?"  
  
"Well I…" Just as if on cue, Ranma started to stir, "ugggg… my head" Shampoo heard him and immediately glomped onto him.  
  
"Airen, Shampoo so glad you no dead."  
  
"Grrr… Shampoo, get offa me." Ranma pried the clingy Amazon off of him and sat her in a chair. "Okay now Ryouga, what did you…"  
  
Outside there suddenly was a lot of commotion.  
  
"UKYOU SLOW DOWN!" Inside Ranma, face faulted.  
  
"No way Akane! Ran-chan might be hurt!" Ukyou and Akane burst into the Cat Café, and walked to the already crowded table. To make matters worse Mousse appeared with Ryouga's six bowls of ramen. While Ryouga ate his ramen, everyone started to fuss over Ranma.  
  
"Oh Ranma, Shampoo so happy you come to see me."  
  
"Ran-chan! What's with all these burn marks? Don't tell me you lost?!"  
  
"RANMA! You better not have hurt poor Ryouga!"  
  
"Saotome, how dare you make my beloved Shampoo cry by impersonating your own death!"  
  
"B..Bu..But I..I.. Would you p..please.. Shampoo get off! N..now Mousee!"  
  
"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!!" Ryouga just finished his Ramen and decided to make some order. "The old ghoul wanted to talk to me so if you're not going to shut up, LEAVE!" This scared away all the regular customers, so only the resident martial artists remained. They all sat down silently. "Now old woman what did you want to know"  
  
"Well boy, I was kind of curious as to why I can't sense you."  
  
Ranma slapped his fist into his palm, "Oh yeah, P-chan! It's like you don't even exist! What's up?"  
  
"Well, Ranma, it started eight months ago, a week after the failed wedding…"  
  
~Flashback: Woods in China~  
  
"WHERE THE HELL AM I NOW!?!?!"  
  
"You're standing in my fire son."   
  
Ryouga looked down. A wrinkly old man was pouring water on his flaming foot. Good thing the fire made the water hot enough to not change him.  
  
"Umm… thanks," Ryouga bowed respectfully. "I take it you're a martial arts master."  
  
The old Happosai looking man stared wide eyed at him, "How'd you know that?"  
  
He sat down and crossed his legs, "Ah, simple. Every two-foot-wrinkled-old-troll is a martial arts master"  
  
The master chuckled to himself, "Isn't that always the case." The old man sat silently tapping his chin for a few seconds but then stood up. "Ah, but now I'm curious," he jumped onto Ryouga's head and placed his hands on his temples "Hmm. Let's see here, I see many, MANY martial artists from your past, and you are very skilled yourself. Hmm what's this… Amazons." He jumped down from his head, "Yes, I've decided, I'm going to train you Ryouga."  
  
Ryouga sat there amazed "You... you just."  
  
"What I did was read your ki, I am a master of all ki after all, and now I know everything about you, your name, past, friends, enemies, curses, _everything. _You need to take the tent out your backpack and go to sleep. Tomorrow I will train you to master ki like I have, you will finally defeat Ranma, _and_ you're going to help me make fools out of those Amazons."  
  
Ryouga gave him a thumbs up, "Sounds good to me, but I'd kind of like to know your name, sensei"  
  
"I am… Lou Fa"  
  
Ryouga sweatdropped, "um… Loofah? ::cough:: Yeah, so why do you want me to hurt your own people?"  
  
"Ask Cologne when you get back," he walked back to his own tent. "And by the way, go to sleep and dream of your loved ones because for as long as it takes to train you, you won't be seeing them. Goodnight"  
  
"Hai, Sensei!" climbing view up to the full moon, and fadeout to a bright sun.  
  
Narrator Ryouga: The next day my training began  
  
(Eye of the Tiger, by Survivor. All these lyrics are sung in the background)  
  
(Climb back down to Ryouga's tent, Loofah walks in shakes his head and hits Ryouga over the head with a stick, only to have the stick break. Outside shot of the tent Ryouga flies through the opening and hits a large rock. He stands up, yawns, and looks down at Loofah, who points to the side and Ryouga walks that way.)   
_Risin' up, back on the street   
_(They stand in front of a large fire)  
_Did my time, took my chances   
_(Loofah puts his left hand in the fire and it diminishes)  
_Went the distance now I'm back on my feet   
_(He puts his right in and the fire rekindles)  
_Just a man and his will to survive   
_(Loofah stands aside and Ryouga puts both his hands up next to the fire)  
_So many times it happens too fast   
_(He does a low energy Shi-Shi Hokodan and blows up the site)  
_You trade your passion for glory  
_(Ryouga gives a thumbs up to Loofah)  
_Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past  
_(Loofah shakes his head and points his finger in the air)  
_You must fight just to keep them alive  
_(Fire starts to swirl around that finger)  
  
_It's the eye of the tiger  
_(Close up of Ryouga's eye and fire is swirling around in it)  
_It's the thrill of the fight   
_(Flash out to see his entire body, hands held out in Shi Shi Hokodan formation)  
_Rising up to the challenge of our rival   
_(Fires a large fire ball at a dodging Loofah)  
_And the last known survivor   
_(Loofah jumps high into the air)  
_Stalks his prey in the night   
_(Ryouga follows)  
_And he's watching us all   
_(Loofah hits Ryouga in the chest with a speeding ball of ice)  
_With the eye of the tiger  
_(Ryouga hits the ground and you zoom back into the pupil of his eye until in get completely black)  
  
_Face to face, out in the heat  
_(A red aura of fire surrounds Ryouga and something is pushing him back)  
_Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry   
_(He walks forward slowly to Loofah outstretched hands)  
_They stack the odds still we take to the street   
_(Ryouga aura turns light blue and he runs at Loofah)  
_For the kill, with the skill to survive   
_(He punches Loofah across the face and smirks, fadeout)  
  
_It's the eye of the tiger   
_(Fade in, Loofah is standing on the ground, then jumps)  
_It's the thrill of the fight   
_(Ryouga falls to where he was finger extended into the ground)  
_Rising up to the challenge of our rival   
_(Loofah lands a few feet away)   
_And the last known survivor   
_(Everything starts shaking)  
_Stalks his prey in the night  
_(The ground below Loofah erupts with magma)  
_And he's watching us all   
_(A bright flash envelops Ryouga)  
_With the eye of the tiger   
_(And he lays on the ground singed and unconscious, fade out)  
  
_Risin' up, straight to the top  
_(Fade in, Ryouga is punching at Loofah then flips away)  
_Had the guts, got the glory   
_(Fires two ki beams, one red and one blue)  
_Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop  
_(Loofah jumps away and the two energies collide)   
_Just a man and his will to survive   
_(A large tornado starts where they met)  
  
_It's the eye of the tiger   
_(Ryouga gets sucked up and gets thrown high into the air)  
_It's the thrill of the fight   
_(See Ryouga's decent)  
_Rising up to the challenge of our rival  
_(He hits the ground hard but gets right back up)   
_And the last known survivor   
_(Ryouga crosses his arms to form an "x")  
_Stalks his prey in the night   
_(He then performs a perfect Shi Shi Hokodan only this one is yellow)  
_And he's watching us all   
_(It hits, this only makes the ground singed not depressed)  
_With the eye of the tiger   
_(Loofah is standing outside the blast site, and he points to a mountain in the background, fade out)  
  
_The eye of the tiger   
_(Fade in, Ryouga is scaling up the snowcapped mountain)  
_The eye of the tiger   
_(He claws his way to the top, and raises both his arms in victory)  
_The eye of the tiger   
_(The camera slowly pans around him, and when it's directly in front of him lightning flashes in the background)  
_The eye of the tiger   
_(As the music dies zoom into his left eye, which is noticeably twitching)  
  
Ryouga came back to the campsite, "I climbed the mountain sensei, may I ask what was the point of that exercise."  
  
Loofah leaned next to Ryouga's ear and whispered "To be perfectly honest my boy there was none, the writer just asked me to do it to end the song in a Rocky-esque way."  
  
Ryouga bowed, "Yes sensei."  
  
"Now Ryouga m'boy, Your training is officially complete, in six months you have mastered how to manipulate your ki to form the basic elements, fire, ice, wind, lightning, and earth. Now it is time for you to get your revenge on Ranma and the Amazons. I assume that you'll want to visit your Akari; she's probably worried about you. So I'll come to that town of Nermia in about three months, to see you beat the student of Cologne. We will see who is the greater teacher."  
  
"Yes sensei, I _will _be in Nermia before the time is up."  
  
"Goodbye m'boy and good luck. You probably won't need it."  
  
~Fade out and end flashback~  
  
Ryouga then stood up in his chair, "And so Ranma, now that you know my story I challenge you, when my master arrives in three weeks. I will honor my masters wishes, and challenge you to a fight to see who is the better teacher, Cologne or Loofah."  
  
Ranma stood up and shook Ryouga's hand, "Ryouga, I accept."  
  
Authors notes- Well two chapters are done, this one took a really long time, real life really slowed it down, but I guess a lot of you know how that is. Hopefully this one is long enough for you. Next time, what did the amazons do to Loofa, to make them hate him so much? And how the heck is Ryouga gonna stay in Nermia for three whole weeks. Read on.


	3. Ryouga's new home

Unknown;Disclaimer- I don't own Ranma ½ or any of the characters therein and I also don't own any songs that are inserted into this text. Please note that during the musical sections that the lyrics are in _italics_ and the action is in (parenthesis). Also note that all characters automatically have perfect singing voices and are always accompanied by the music that goes with each song (unless otherwise noted). I will have a song sequence in each chapter, so each chapter will probably be very different lengths, hopefully this won't confuse people.  
  
  
Ranma stood up and shook Ryouga's hand. "Ryouga, I accept."  
  
Cologne beat her stick on the table. "Son-in-law, I refuse to let you blindly walk in to a humiliating defeat."  
  
"Hey old crone! I ain't gonna lose!"  
  
Ryouga stood from his chair. "Ranma, you'd better listen to her. If anybody knows how to defeat my techniques, she will. Isn't that right old woman?"  
  
Cologne sighed. "Yes, I have defeated your master before. He was a rebel that thought the men should rule our village. He tried to take it over. He was easily overcome when the Amazons banded together. We exiled him to the forests of China, never to return to the village."  
  
Ryouga nodded in agreement "Well, that explains why he hated you so much."  
  
"Yes, but as to the matter at hand. Ryouga I'd like to see all of you're new techniques, if I'm going to train Ranma I need to see exactly what I'm up against."  
  
Ryouga bowed respectfully. "Purely out of respect, I'll do it. If everyone will follow me to the back yard."  
  
In the yard, everyone stood around Ryouga. "Okay, I'll start with the basics." Ryouga holds up his finger and a fire starts on the tip. "I can create fire and ice ki." He holds up the same finger on the opposite hand, a blue fire starts on it. "As you already know Ranma, when you combine hot and cold kis, it forms a tornado." He brought the two fires together. When they touched, a strong gust of wind blew by everyone.   
  
"You can't sense me because I've made myself more rock-like. With the Bakusai Tenketsu training behind me, that was relatively easy."   
  
Ryouga pulled off a bandana and twirled it on his finger. "I can also combine some of my old attacks with these kis to make them much more powerful." The bandana glowed red and he threw it at a nearby tree. The tree ignited. Ryouga stuck his finger into the ground and the tree froze.   
  
"And finally, the most powerful attack is the power over lightning. It requires extremely heavy amounts of ki to work." He put both his arms to his sides, and a large beam of yellow colored ki was released from his body. It came back down on top of Ryouga and emitted a loud thunderclap.  
  
The entire area that was hit was blackened. Ryouga walked out of the area completely unscathed. "Well I hope you're happy, old woman, and I hope you can mold Ranma into a formidable opponent."  
  
"Yes I believe I can. Son-in-law, you are to come here everyday after your schooling, we will be doing special training. I also suggest that you rid yourself of any distractions. You'll need every moment to think and prepare."  
  
"Aww old crone, I don't need school. You can train me and I'll skip it."  
  
Cologne bopped him on the head with her cane "Shampoo's groom needs to be knowledgeable in worldly matters. You'll go to school."  
  
"Yeah, whatever." Ranma turned to Ryouga. "So pig boy, how do you plan on staying here for three whole weeks?"  
  
"Well… uh. I was hoping to stay here."  
  
"I'm sorry Ryouga, but staying here would interfere with son-in-law's training. Besides, we have a law about a student staying with a rival's teacher."   
  
"Heh, I thought as much." Ranma piped up. "Come on buddy, we'll find you a place to stay."  
  
Ranma tried to grab Ryouga's hand, but he jerked it away. Ranma looked up, to see Ryouga staring at him with wide eyes. Ranma looked around at everyone else, only to find they were staring at him in the same way.  
  
"What! I didn't do nothin' wrong." Ranma looked at Ryouga again. "Come on Ryouga, lets just go."  
  
Ryouga just kept on staring at him. He finally asked the question that was on everybody's minds. "Buddy? Since when did you and me ever become buddies?"  
  
"Just come on, P-chan." Ranma finally grabbed Ryouga's hand and jumped over the fence.  
  
Shampoo walked next to her great-grandmother, still looking where Ranma had hopped the fence. "Grand mother, what we do now?"  
  
"Just go inside granddaughter." She turned to the rest of the group. "As well as the rest of you, go home. I think we'll be in for a very interesting few weeks."  
  
Ryouga and Ranma were standing in front of a large traditional Japanese house. Ranma rang the doorbell.  
  
Ryouga fidgeted. "Are you sure about this Ranma?"  
  
"Hey, don't worry buddy. Have I ever steered you wrong before?"  
  
"Yes! Besides I don't think I can stand…" Suddenly the door flew open and a shadowy figure stepped out. The setting sun revealed it to be Tatewaki Kuno.  
  
"Who dares disturb the meditations of Tatewaki Kuno?"  
  
Both Ranma and Ryouga sweat-dropped "Yeah, um… Kuno, my friend Ryouga here needs a place to stay. I believe you two have met before."  
  
"Yes, Hibiki ruined my fight with you before. Well being the good natured, samurai that I am, I shall help the poor and needy find a place to rest."  
  
"Aw, I can't take this shit. I'm just going to find a hotel." Ryouga waved and turned his back on the two.  
  
"You dare to refuse the Blue-Thunder of Furinkan High's hospitality? Fine then! If you are not my friend, you are my foe." So saying this, he leaped at Ryouga's exposed back.  
  
Ryouga spun on his heel, grabbed Kuno by his shirt and slammed his back into the ground. "Blue thunder, if you don't stop acting like an idiot, you'll have to face the 'yellow thunder' of the Hibiki School of martial arts." Ryouga let go of his shirt and walked over him. "Come on Ranma."  
  
Ryouga turned at the gate and walked away from the scene. Ranma ran after him. "Whoa Pig boy, what was that about?"  
  
"I just wanted to show him how stupid he sounded. Where to next?"  
  
"Well be damned if I know."  
  
Ryouga shook his fist at Ranma. "Ranma! You promised me a home for 3 weeks, and KUNO was your ONLY idea!?"  
  
Ranma held up his arms, shielding himself from Ryouga's impending onslaught. "N…now Ryouga. We've still got other places we could go. How 'bout ya sleep with Akane as P-chan for a while, or maybe go to Akari's and I'll come get you later."  
  
Ryouga dropped his arms to the sides. "No Ranma, I can't do that. There are personal reasons."  
  
Ranma just waved it off. "Yeah, well come on. I've got one last resort."  
  
They arrived at Ucchan's. Ryouga stared up at the sign. "Ranma, you know you're cutting my life into pieces"  
  
"Like I said, this is my last resort." They walked in and saw Ukyou, who was cleaning up for the night.  
  
"Hey Ran-chan, did you get Ryouga a house?" She suddenly noticed Ryouga standing behind Ranma. "Oh I get it, you want him to live here. Well I ain't no charity sugar, you'll have to work if you want to live here."  
  
Ranma's eyes widened. "You mean you'll do it?" Ranma embraced her in a friendly hug. "Thank you Ucchan."  
  
Ukyo's eyes got all starry. "Oh Ranma."  
  
Ryouga stood next to them, looking rather bored. "Ranma, if you're done, you should go home to Akane."  
  
Ranma said his goodbyes and left, promising to see them both later.  
  
Ukyou shut the door behind him, and spun on her heel to face Ryouga. "Okay Ryouga, since Ranma asked me to, I'm gonna let you stay here. But you're still going to work. Lucky for you I finished cleaning before you got here."  
  
She walked up the stairs and Ryouga followed her. "Your room is the first on the left. It used to be Konatsu's. Right across the hall is mine, and at the end of the hall is the bathroom. Not even you can get too lost with only 3 doors."  
  
Ryouga smiled at her. "But you know me, I'd have to be superman to pull that off."  
  
"Oh well, good night Ryouga. And by the way, I expect you to be up at 6:30 for the breakfast crowd." She shut her door, leaving Ryouga in the hall.  
  
"6:30?" Ryouga walked backwards into his completely empty room. He pulled out a futon and an alarm clock from his pack.   
  
"Heh, 6:30." He set the clock for 6:30 and lay down to sleep.   
  
Suddenly his eyes shot open. "6:30!? Ranma this is all you fault."   
  
Ryouga shut his eyes again and finally went to sleep.  
  
~Next day~  
  
Ryouga's alarm got him up precisely at the right time. Unfortunately, Ryouga had to buy a new alarm clock because it did so. To put it bluntly, Ryouga was not a morning person.  
  
He got dressed, and walked into the bathroom. Too bad Ryouga was trying to get downstairs. He walked between closets and bedrooms for a good ten minutes before finally making it to work.   
  
Ukyou was already hard at work at the grill, dressed in her usual chef outfit with a large, happy smile on her face.  
  
"Hey, morning Ryouga. About time you made it here. Flip the open sign over while I get some music playing. That ought to wake ya up."  
  
Ryouga did as he was told. Ukyou flipped the radio to one of her favorite stations.  
  
(I'm in a hurry to get things done, by Alabama)  
  
Radio:  
_I'm in a hurry to get things done  
Oh, I rush & rush until life's no fun  
_(Ukyou comes out with a batch of batter)  
_All I really gotta do is live & die  
But, I'm in a hurry & don't know why  
_(She pours 10 okonomiyaki on the sizzling grill)  
  
_Don't know why  
_(Ryouga turns from the door, and begins nodding his head to the beat)  
_I have to drive so fast  
My car has nothing to prove  
_(He sits at the grill and Ukyou serves him an okonomiyaki)  
_It's not new, but it'll do 0 to 60 in 5.2, Oh  
_(He eats it in one swallow)  
  
Ryouga and Ukyou:  
_I'm in a hurry to get things done  
Oh, I rush & rush until life's no fun  
_(A few customers come in)  
_All I really gotta do is live & die  
But, I'm in a hurry & don't know why  
_(they sit at a few tables waiting to be served)  
  
Ukyou:  
_Can't be late  
_(Ryouga goes to get the orders)  
_I leave in plenty of time  
Shakin' hands with the clock  
_(Ryouga trips over a few chairs)  
_I can't stop  
_(Ukyou giggles)  
_I'm on a roll & I'm ready to rock Oh,  
_(Ryouga sweatdrops)  
  
_I'm in a hurry to get things done  
_(Ukyou flips a few pancakes into the air)  
_Oh, I rush & rush until life's no fun  
_(Catches one behind her back and flips it to an awaiting customer)  
_All I really gotta do is live & die  
But, I'm in a hurry & don't know why  
_(Ryouga comes back and gives her some orders)  
  
Ryouga:  
_I hear a voice  
_(Grabs a few plates from a cabinet)  
_It says I'm running behind  
_(He throws one in front of each awaiting customer)  
_I better pick up my pace  
It's a race & there ain't no room for someone in 2nd place  
_(An okonomiyaki falls onto each plate)  
(Ryouga walks back to the grill and stands next to Ukyou)  
  
Ryouga and Ukyou:  
_I'm in a hurry to get things done  
_(They sit near the grill, taking money from leaving customers)  
_I rush & rush until life's no fun  
All I really gotta do is live & die  
_(Ryouga walks over and flips the open sign to closed)  
_But, I'm in a hurry & don't know why  
_  
_I'm in a hurry to get things done  
_(Ukyou steps in the back, and comes back in her school uniform)   
_Oh, I rush & rush until life's no fun  
All I really gotta do is live & die  
_(Ryouga and Ukyou leave the empty restaurant)  
_But, I'm in a hurry & don't know why  
_  
_I'm in a hurry to get things done  
_(Ryouga shoulders his pack and walks next to Ukyou)  
_Oh, I rush & rush until life's no fun  
All I really gotta do is live & die  
But, I'm in a hurry & don't know why  
_  
_I'm in a hurry to get things done  
_(Ryouga begins to stay from course)  
_Oh, I rush & rush until life's no fun  
_(Ukyou grabs his hand and pulls him back)  
_All I really gotta do is live & die  
But, I'm in a hurry & don't know why  
_  
Ryouga and Ukyou walked down the street to Furinkan high school. "Hey thanks Ryouga, This has been the best time I've ever had setting up shop and going to school."  
  
"No problem Ukyou it was my..." Ryouga eyes suddenly went wide. "Ummm… Ukyou did you say school?"  
  
"Yeah sugar, where did you think we…" Ukyou eyes went wide with realization. "Well we can't turn back now." She pointed in the direction they were heading. "Let's go into the unknown!" Ukyou ran off into the distance, dragging a complaining Ryouga the whole way.  
  
Authors note's – OH THANK GOD I'M DONE! This was my longest chapter yet, cause I couldn't think of a good song to go into it. I know I did a bad job anyway, but I think it works. Next time, Ryouga at school!? When did he agree to this, and what's been going on since Ryouga's been gone, I mean 8 months, a lot must have happened right?


	4. oh no! writers block!

Disclaimer- I don't own Ranma ½ or any of the characters therein and I also don't own any songs that are inserted into this text. Please note that during the musical sections that the lyrics are in _italics_ and the action is in (parenthesis). Also note that all characters automatically have perfect singing voices and are always accompanied by the music that goes with each song (unless otherwise noted). I will have a song sequence in each chapter, so each chapter will probably be very different lengths, hopefully this won't confuse people.  
  
  
Ranma walks onto the stage and bows "Dear readers, we hope you have enjoyed our musical thus far." There is some scattered applause and Ranma blushes.  
  
"Well in any case, our beloved writer Hiro has contracted a deadly case of…(dramatic pause) writers block.   
  
Cut to Hiro, who is lying in a hospital bed, with a few IV's hooked to him. His beta reader Talia_Ali is sitting over him in silence, a single tear rolls down her cheek.  
  
Cut back to Ranma  
  
"As you can see the situation is horrible, and the cast has decided to entertain you to ease everyone's mind. And now a song completely directed and choreographed by Shampoo. Ranma walks behind the curtain and some whispering and commotion is heard. The curtain opens. Ranma, Ryouga, Mousse, and Kuno are clad in extremely tight sailor uniforms (like the navy, you yaoi pervs).  
  
(In The Navy, by The Village People)  
  
(Every starts out clapping to the tune. When finished Ranma struts up to the front of the stage, followed by Ryouga, Mousse, then Kuno. A background that looks like an aircraft carrier drops down. They all point their hands out and sweep it over the audience, and again with the other hand. They repeat it one more time. March in place as the lyrics start)  
  
Ranma:  
_Where can you find pleasure  
Search the world for treasure  
Learn science technology  
_  
Ryouga:  
_Where can you begin to   
Make your dreams all come true  
On the land or on the sea  
_  
Mousse:  
_Where can you learn to fly  
Play in sports and skin dive  
Study oceanography  
_  
Kuno:  
_Sign up for the big band  
Or sit in the grandstand  
When your team and others meet  
_  
All:  
_In the navy  
_Ranma:  
_Yes, you can sail the seven seas  
_All:  
_In the navy  
_Ranma:  
_Yes, you can put your mind at ease  
_All:  
_In the navy  
_Ranma:  
_Come on now, people, make a stand  
_(Mousse looks to the side, and runs off screaming)  
Mousse: TIDAL WAVE!!!  
  
(Water sweeps across the entire stage getting everyone and everything wet)  
  
Ranma-chan comes out her sailor uniform completely soaked through. "Sorry folks, but we'll have to cut this a little short. Most everyone is without the use of their voices." Ranma points to the side, and we see everyone's cursed form in a massive free-for-all.  
  
"Anyway, we'll have to just cut this chapter short. We'll see you…" Ranma gets hit on the head by a sign from his father/panda that says, "I can sing!"  
  
Ranma comes back and hits his pop on the head "What do you mean you can sing!"  
  
Genma pops a sign up "Just watch"  
  
(Signs, by Five Man Electrical Band)  
  
(Genma Panda walks up to Doc Tofu's clinic, and reads a sign)  
_And the sign said, "Long-haired freaky people need not apply"  
So I tucked my hair up under my hat, and I went in to ask him why  
_(Pours a kettle of hot water on himself)  
_He said,   
_Doc Tofu:  
_"You look like a fine, upstanding young man, I think you'll do"  
_Genma:_  
So I took off my hat and said,   
_(Pours bucket of cold water on his head)  
Genma holds up sign that says:  
_"Imagine that! Ha, me workin' for you!"  
_  
Holds up two signs that say:  
_Oh, sign, sign, everywhere a sign  
Blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind  
_Pulls out two more signs:  
_Do this, don't do that,  
_Ranma-chan hits him through the roof with a sign that says:  
_Can't you read the sign?  
_  
Ranma-chan faces the audience once again. "Sorry for that little bout of stupidity. Well it seems we won't end this anytime soon, so are there any requests." You hear crickets begin to chirp.  
  
Kasumi suddenly walks in from stage right, and the crowd erupts in applause "Woo, Yeah Kasumi!"  
  
"Oh my, what's going on in here?"  
  
Ranma looks over at Kasumi and gently moves her to center stage. "Kasumi, we need a time filler for the rest of the chapter. If you could just sing or do anything, that'd be great."  
  
"Okay Ranma, I think I know exactly what to do. Mister DJ, will you please play my song?"  
  
(That Don't Impress Me Much, by Shania Twain. Sung by Kasumi)  
  
(The light go out when the music starts, and a spotlight comes onto Kasumi. She's wearing very short denim shorts, with a white cut off shirt, and a matching denim vest, giving her a very good country girl look. She walks over to the group of guys, namely Ryouga, Ranma, Mousse, and Kuno)  
  
_I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart  
_(She walks up to Ryouga and rubs against him)  
_But you've got being right down to an art  
_(Puts her lips near his but doesn't kiss)  
_You think you're a genius-you drive me up the wall  
You're a regular original, a know-it-all   
_(Walks behind him and musses his hair)  
  
_Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special  
_(Wraps her arms around him)  
_Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else   
_  
_Okay, so you're a rocket scientist  
_(She pushes him away)  
_That don't impress me much  
_(He turns around and faces her)  
_So you got the brain but have you got the touch  
_(Waves her finger at him)  
_Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright  
_(Blows him a kiss)  
_But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night  
_(Hugs her arms)  
_That don't impress me much   
_(Walks up to Ranma)  
_  
I never knew a guy who carried a mirror in his pocket  
_(Gets in his pockets, pulls out a mirror, then throws it away)  
_And a comb up his sleeve-just in case  
_(Does the same thing with a comb)  
_And all that extra hold gel in your hair oughtta lock it  
_(Walks around him with her hand on his head)  
_'Cause Heaven forbid it should fall outta place   
_(Grabs his pigtail and gives it a tug)  
  
_Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special  
_(Ranma turns around and smiles at her)  
_Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else   
_(She frowns at him)  
  
_Okay, so you're Brad Pitt  
_(Kasumi crosses her arms and shakes her head)  
_That don't impress me much  
So you got the looks but have you got the touch  
_(Grabs his chin with one finger, then pushes his face away)  
_Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright  
_(Smiles at him and turns away)  
_But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night  
_(Rubs her hand across her breasts)  
_That don't impress me much  
_  
(Walks past Kuno and goes to Mousse who swallows hard)  
_You're one of those guys who likes to shine his machine  
_(She pulls out a shiny axe from Mousse's sleeve)  
_You make me take off my shoes before you let me get in  
_(She throws it away)  
_I can't believe you kiss your car good night  
_(She crosses her arms and looks at him like he's dumb)  
_C'mon baby tell me-you must be jokin', right!   
_(Mousse blushes and shakes his head)  
  
_Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special  
_(She elbows him in the gut, knocking him over)  
_Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else   
_(He stands back up)  
  
_Okay, so you've got a car  
_(She looks in his sleeve and nods)  
_That don't impress me much  
_(She presses her breasts to his chest)  
_So you got the moves but have you got the touch  
_(Does the splits so her face is right in front of where his penis would be)  
_Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright  
_(Stands back up and slaps the smiling Mousse on the cheek)  
_But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night  
_(Walks a few steps away from the boys)  
_That don't impress me much  
_  
_You think you're cool but have you got the touch  
_(Turns around and regards all 4 of them)  
_Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright  
_(shakes her head and walks a few feet off stage)  
_But that won't keep me warm on the long, cold, lonely night  
_(She walks back clinging onto Dr. Tofu's arm)  
_That don't impress me much  
_  
(Walks in front of the boys with the doc, stops in front of Kuno and snaps her fingers in front of his face)  
_Okay, so what do you think you're Elvis or something...  
_(Walks out of view)  
_That don't impress me   
_  
  
Ranma slaps himself hard in the face. "Thank you Kasumi."  
  
The audience erupts in a thunderous applause. After a few minutes, Ranma is finally able to calm them down. "We'd like to thank you all for your support. Remember our poor writer can't survive without your help."  
  
Camera cuts to the hospital bed. Hiro and Talia_Ali are sitting in bed, watching TV. Hiro looks directly at the camera and gives a thumbs up.  
  
Cut back to Ranma who sweat-drops. He regains is composure, and gives a peace/victory sign. "He's cured folks!"  
  
The audience boo's and starts to throw things at Ranma. Who is unsuccessfully attempting to dodge the barrage of random objects. When Ranma is completely covered in stuff, and the throwing stops, he pokes his head up. Ranma looks around, only to see everybody has left. "Well… shit. I guess no audience, means no story. See you all later!" Ranma waves and it fades to black.  
  
Authors notes- Sorry for the abrupt end, but I couldn't think of a good way to end this chapter. As for an explanation, I just couldn't use songs without making fun of them in some way. Besides isn't that what fanfics are all about, making fun of stuff. In the next chapter, expect to get back into the story. Read the last authors notes to figure out what's gonna happen. Please C/C.


End file.
